Touchstones #1 and #2 are internal. We see people’s value and continue to relate with them on that basis—regardless of their objections, and whether or not they buy. Touchstone #3 takes us out of our own attitudes and thoughts. We reach out and make the connection with people. This connection happens on an energetic level. When it clicks in, we relax and smile, at least internally—and so does the other person. We can both feel it.
WHAT MAKES THE CONNECTION?
Our connection with the other person may happen with a handshake, a smile, a nod, a brief greeting, or a general comment about the day, the store, or the person who introduced us. It can be all of these things, or none of them. We can have the handshake , the nod, even the same grandmother—and still not have the connection. These gestures may reflect the connection, but they don’t necessarily cause it.
The connection comes from within us, and it usually occurs naturally as we see value in the other person. When people treat you in a respectful and honoring way, don’t you usually react well and feel connected with them? When we reach out energetically to the other person, seeing the best in them and extending ourselves in some physical way, the connection almost always happens. We know when we have it, and when we don’t.
WAIT FOR THE “PING”
When we truly connect with someone, we usually feel a “ping.” That “ping” feels different for each of us. Sometimes the connection just “registers” for us and for the other person. We know it’s there. We can often see the other person’s face or demeanor shift slightly when the connection clicks in. It’s almost as if we are figuratively standing beside them with our arm around their shoulder, looking together at what we are offering. We’re on the same team, with a common goal to determine whether or not our offer is right for them.
I don’t want to make this more complicated than it is, but one of the most common mistakes people make is launching into a sales presentation before the connection has been made. They get so excited about their offer, or so anxious to make the sale, that they jump ahead of themselves. They’re off down the toboggan slope, but they don’t have the other person in the sled with them.
For more on making this connection, check out The Soul of Selling on Kindle or at my Soul of Selling site.
