The 7 Deadly Attitudes about “Selling Yourself”—and How to Bust Them!

My client Julia said she would rather have gum surgery than “sell herself.” By “sell herself,” she meant invite people into her wonderful new coaching business. People say:

  • “I can sell for other people, but not for myself.”
  • “If people think I’m pushy, they won’t like me or buy my service.
  • “I get tongue-tied, afraid I’ll turn people off, so I just stop.”

The 7 attitudes below are why we feel so queasy, uneasy when we talk about the gift we’ve been given to share with the world. At the end, I’ll give you a “fix” so that you can:

  • Talk about yourself and what you offer in a relaxed, authentic, and gracious way
  • Make a good living doing what you are here to do, based on integrity and service to others
  • Feel enthusiastic and empowered when you go out to sell yourself

When we’re not having fun or getting huge results “selling ourselves,” it’s usually because we’ve bought into one of these 7 attitudes:

Selling makes us think of used car salesmen in plaid sport coats and pencil moustaches, sleazy telemarketers, people who flood our inboxes with sales-y emails, and even pushy Girl Scout mothers hovering around the tables piled high with cookies!

We don’t like those people. We’re afraid that if we sell anything, let alone ourselves, people won’t like us.

This particular attitude carries a lot of sub-attitudes:

  • Nice people don’t do it—and we shouldn’t have to do it!
  • People who sell themselves are on an ego trip. They have no humility or spirituality!
  • It’s impolite. Unattractive. Seedy!
  • If people think we’re pushy, they won’t like us and they won’t buy. We’ll be double-defeated. We’ll have ruined our reputation for nothing!

If selling is bad, selling ourselves is worse! As kids, we learned not to “brag” or “blow our own horns.” Society tells us there’s something unsavory about selling ourselves, that it’s arrogant, cocky, and narcissistic.

Yikes! Who wants to be like that? [Read more…]

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